Breakups Have These Pleasant Surprises That Help You Bounce Back

Florence Williamson
3 min readApr 18, 2023


a woman embracing renewed energy from breakups
Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

We often picture breakups with people down in the dumps. And that perception isn’t an unfounded one.

They can be pretty painful — especially if they come out of nowhere. We can’t schedule heartbreak, so imagine being dumped on a random day like 24 hours after celebrating your anniversary. That just sucks!

Another contributor: research. Most studies on the subject reflect negativity and focus on the pain of losing relationships.

Although they do contribute to unpleasant emotions and mental health issues, they also have unexpected benefits that help people recover from them.

What are these pleasant surprises? Read on and find out:

#1: It’s okay to ask for help

People (and society, to an extent) usually condition themselves to do everything alone. There’s a negative perception around asking for help, mistakenly categorized as a weakness.

I’m here to tell you to shatter that notion.

Asking for and embracing help isn’t a moral failure. Let’s face it: no matter how much we try, we can’t do everything by ourselves. Friendly reminder: we’re not islands!

GIF by Apple Music on Giphy

We can’t possibly expect ourselves to live completely solitary lives. So no, you’re not a sad excuse of a person if you want to call a friend just to pour your heart out.

Breakups (especially bad ones) may tempt us to dig holes in the ground and stay there. However, letting friends and loved ones comfort you makes them a little more bearable.

#2: You’ll filter real people from fake ones

Now that we’ve mentioned supportive friends, splitting up from a person can help you find out who’s truly looking out for you.

It’s pretty telling if your ex’s friends treat you differently after the dissolution of your relationship. When they become weird and uncomfortable around you, that’s a sign that they’re not company worth keeping anyway.

#3: You don’t have to lie to yourself anymore to please anyone else

Some people tell us to apply the “fake it ’til you make it” philosophy in certain life situations. Relationships aren’t the best setting to do that.

Did your ex have annoying friends and nosey relatives with out-of-touch commentary? I know putting up with them can be exhausting. You may feel sad about your relationship ending, but you can’t deny the relief of putting those people behind you.

#4: You grow in empathy

GIF by Netflix on Giphy

Because you’ve been through the pain and understand it, you become better at empathizing. You’ll know what helps with the healing and what deters progress. And with that, you’ll provide better comfort to friends and loved ones under similar predicaments.

#5: You become motivated to do things you’re passionate about

You’re allowed to grieve your relationship. So, go ahead and eat all the pints of ice cream you want while crying your eyes out. No one will judge you for that.

Because of intense emotions, you can feel your energy receiving small yet steady boosts. You can channel your re-energized spirit into doing happy things, like exploring new hobbies.

#6: You can push the reset button in your life

Your return to singlehood means change is in order. You can take this chance to reset your life.

Although there’s no rulebook dictating steps, editing/resetting your life means making changes/adjustments to live out your dream life. What better time for a life makeover than after a breakup?

Re-entering singlehood shouldn’t be a bad experience for anyone. These post-breakup benefits will help you realize that you’re more than just someone’s ex.