You Know You’re Dating a Player through These Warning Signs

Florence Williamson
3 min readApr 26, 2023
Fruits symbolizing a person dating a player
Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Have you ever been with someone who seems too good to be true? They’re attractive, carry tons of charisma, and they make you feel like you’re the most precious person ever.

Sound great, yes?

I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds like you’ve been with a player.

Players are like bad presents: they come at you with fancy wrapping paper; in the context of dating, they present themselves as the person of your dreams. But once you unwrap them (or win them over), the package brings you pain and disappointment.

Many of us have been there, and it sucks!

So, how can you tell if you’re dating a player? Save yourself from heartbreak and read these signs:

#1: They’re relentless in pursuing you

Confidence is an undeniably attractive trait. Players use that to their advantage and amp up their charisma to create a strong impression.

When they know you’ve got their attention, they don’t stop until you’ve fallen for their spell. They’ll say things you want to hear, and they pull seemingly grand gestures to sweep you off your feet.

For players, you’re the trophy they want to win. That makes targets feel irresistible, making rejection a difficult thing to do.

#2: They don’t walk the talk

Many say that actions are louder than words. This may sound corny to some, but there is merit to that philosophy. What’s the point of saying something if you don’t back it up with your actions?

Observe your partner’s actions. Sometimes, they’re a dead giveaway for their true thoughts.

For example, let’s say they promised you they’d come home at a specific time after a night out. However, they haven’t arrived hours after that specified schedule. As you wonder why they haven’t come home yet, you see their companions’ social media posts and discover that they’re busy acting on their feelings for someone else. Ouch!

GIF by Little Mix on Giphy

When you ask them why they went home late, they lie and tell you that they had too much fun and forgot about their promise. They then apologize and promise to avoid that mistake, only to repeat it many times over.

#3: Vulnerability is not in their vocabulary

Mystery can be thrilling in a relationship. However, there’s a difference between that and being emotionally distant.

Players may be generous with physical affection and sweet words, but forming deep bonds is a no-no for them. They don’t let their walls down around you, and they act defensive at the tiniest sign of vulnerability.

#4: They don’t flaunt you

You know you’re dating a player if they don’t make your relationship public. If their friends and family have no idea of your existence, that’s an automatic red flag. When they don’t want to be publicly seen with you, run away and don’t look back!

#5: They’re adamant about not placing labels

You’ve been seeing your partner for some time, but they refuse to define your arrangement. This causes confusion because you don’t know where you stand. When you do so much as ask what your status truly is, they get defensive and pull disappearing acts.

#6: It’s all physical and nothing else

Intimacy makes relationships healthy. More often than not, players unfortunately only want the physical aspect. They get excited at the thought of it when you’re together. But after they satisfy that desire, they drift away, making you feel like you’re just a warm body to them.

You can’t change players and it’s unwise to think the opposite. Once you pick up those signs, do yourself a favor and cut ties. Don’t be with somebody who’s only looking for their next conquest.