It’s Boring to Be in a Healthy Relationship

Florence Williamson
3 min readMay 25, 2022


Here’s a difficult pill to swallow: Healthy relationships are boring.

Everything just feels so mundane. There’s barely any conflict or drama.

But that’s exactly what makes it good.

Some people are so used to the thrill of being in a turbulent relationship. They grew accustomed to living life in chaos. When they finally have a taste of peace and calm, they don’t know how to manage themselves after.

Healthy relationships are stable and secure. They don’t make you feel like walking on eggshells with your partner, nor do you feel dread whenever you feel like a confrontation is about to happen.

Moving on From Toxic Relationships

If you’re someone who’s been in a dysfunctional relationship, it can be pretty disorienting to transition into a healthy one. Even though you know it’s a better option, you can’t help but feel undeserving of the relationship.

I myself have been in that situation before. While my first relationship wasn’t really the best, it eventually became the standard by which I judged other relationships. It wasn’t, however, a very high standard.

I felt that I was always the one putting in the effort to make it work. And though I can’t blame my ex for trying, I felt like I can’t take that time and energy back.

That was until I found someone who matched my energy. I received as much as I gave, and it honestly shocked me to see that I was being treated well.

I got so used to chasing after people, that it came as a shock for someone to meet me halfway.

A healthy kind of relationship was simply not something I was used to. At times, I even thought it was boring.

It wasn’t until I matured that I came to realize how good my life was. I simply needed time to adjust to it.

I’m glad that I took the risk and made the commitment to my current husband. If not, I’d have stayed in the toxic relationship cycle.

Adapting to a Healthy Relationships

There will come a time when you get tired of relationships where everything is intense and heart-thumping. It gets pretty old when you’ve already had a taste of it.

Some people choose to chase after the euphoric thrill and go from one relationship to another. They don’t like it when the relationship settles down. That’s when it gets boring for them.

But maturing is realizing that this is a necessary step you fully commit yourself.

Love is not always about the sweet exchange you have with your partner during quiet moments. It’s not about having a picture to post on social media and waiting for online validation.

It’s about spending a fraction of your time trying to be a better person with your lover. It’s about prioritizing their comfort and needs. It’s about making the decision to grow and learn together. What’s even better is that they return the favor in kind.

Healthy relationships may be typical and boring. But they’re real, gratifying, and rewarding.