It’s Her Not You: 4 Warning Signs Your Girlfriend Is Toxic

Florence Williamson
3 min readSep 19, 2022

Do you feel controlled? Are you uncomfortable because you no longer have privacy? Or, do you feel drained because you’re not trusted enough despite doing your best? Congratulations, you have fallen into a toxic relationship.

Recognizing a toxic partner is not as simple as identifying the colors of a rainbow. Sometimes, you don’t realize it because your partner can mask their insecurities and controlling personality by showering you with too much love and affection.

But it’s time to break the spell. To help you see things clearly, here are some negative traits to look out for:

Your girlfriend is a toxic partner if…

1. It’s Always Your Fault

The blame game is real.

If your girlfriend blames you for every single problem in the relationship, without considering if they’re at fault as well, then something is definitely wrong.

For instance, if you caught them lying yet they still deny it. They might even gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault or that you’re making things up.

Gaslighting is a toxic personality trait that causes you to doubt your own perceptions and understanding of events. In this case, they manipulate your thoughts by convincing you that you’re insane and you’re the one that should be blamed for inventing stories.

2. They Go Crazy Without You

Of course, being attached to a relationship is normal. However, it’s a different story when they depend on your presence and attention so much that they go mad when you’re out of their sight.

If they constantly blow up your phone while you’re out or won’t let you meet your friends without them, they clearly have unhealthy attachment issues. As a result, you may feel suffocated and overwhelmed.

3. You Do All the Work

A relationship will last if both of you are willing to work it out. That said, you should make an effort to meet your relationship’s needs and show your love for each other. But what if they do the exact opposite, is there really a reason for you to stay?

If your partner always takes but never gives, you will, for sure, be drained for doing all the work. You will notice if they are a taker when:

  • They want support but don’t support you.
  • They only focus on their needs.
  • They always try to get something out of you.
  • They’re their only priority.

4. They’re Full of Hypocrisy

You don’t want me to go out with my friends, but you party with your friends almost every night!

You want me to shower you with my attention, but I still beg just to have a little bit of yours.

If these sound familiar to you, you might be having a relationship with a hypocrite.

Your partner is toxic and hypocritical when the same rules don’t apply to them. They have expectations of you that they fail to apply to themselves. Definitely a major red flag.

A Paradise or a Prison?

A relationship must be your safe haven. You should feel loved and appreciated by your partner even at your worst.

However, if you feel like you’re already living in a prison where you’re controlled and can’t express yourself anymore, what makes you think the relationship will work?

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