Stop Keeping Tabs on Your Ex-Girlfriend, Do These Instead

Florence Williamson
4 min readAug 2, 2022

Is it a good idea to stalk your ex-girlfriend’s every post on social media?

No, it isn’t.

I have been there before. One of my past breakups was so severe that I found myself stalking my ex just to see how he was doing.

Was he out with his friends? Was he dating someone? Did he already have a girlfriend?

There were instances when I avoided doing that. For the most part, however, I couldn’t stop my fingers from typing his name on Facebook.

Guess what? One time, I found nothing. He had no post about girls or dates. And because of that, I started to entertain the thought that he still liked me.

That was a huge mistake. We broke up for a reason. Instead of stalking him, I should have moved on.

Why you should STOP keeping tabs on your ex-girlfriend

Here’s the reality — keeping tabs on your ex-girlfriend will get you nowhere.

You can keep trying to contact her. You can continue to check her social media accounts. Snoop around where she is and where she’s going. But that won’t hide the fact that your relationship is over.

You are here overthinking. You are using your precious time and energy imagining all the “what ifs.” Meanwhile, your ex is probably living her best life without you.

What should you do instead?

It took me a while to finally understand this reality. Our relationship was over and there was no going back. Instead of stalking my ex, I should have moved on with my life.

If you’re in this situation, you should too.

Stop living in the past. Make it easier to move on by doing these things below:

#1. Cut all kinds of ties with your ex.

You cannot move on if you continue stalking your ex. You need time to heal. The best way to do that is to cut all ties with her.

Block her on social media. Delete her phone number from your contact list. Get rid of her gifts and your photos together.

Your contacts and connections should all be cut.

This may sound extreme, but it is necessary. You cannot move on if you are always reminded of your ex.

#2. Focus on your healing.

Did you know that we deal with our breakups almost the same way we do when we lose a loved one?

We go through the same stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

That said, take as much time as you need to heal. Don’t rush to go through the process. These stages are necessary to completely move on from this heartbreak.

#3. Focus on yourself and your hobbies.

Since your hobbies and interests make you happy, revisiting them will help you move your mind away from your ex-girlfriend.

Go back to painting, playing sports, hiking, or fixing cars, for instance. It’s a better way to make use of your time than by stalking your ex.

#4. Reach out to your friends and family.

Lastly, communicate with the people you love. They are the best people to talk to when it comes to your breakup.

Yes, it may be awkward to ask for help from them. You would rather keep it all to yourself. But trust me, you need their help.

They know you better than anyone else, and as such, they can provide you with the necessary emotional support that you need.

Accept that it’s over.

It’s fine to want to check what your ex-girlfriend has been doing. You did have a relationship. Whether it ended amicably or not, a piece of her is still in your heart.

However, it’s not ideal to continue contacting her through her phone or social media accounts. It becomes an obsession and it doesn’t help you move on.

Rather than stalking her and justifying that her posts are for you, accept the reality — she has already moved on. You should do that too.

Stop keeping tabs on your ex. Focus on what matters: moving on from your relationship and finding a partner who will love you until the end.