What She Says vs. What She Actually Means

Florence Williamson
3 min readJun 13, 2022

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Women can be confusing at times. I would know, I am one.

We don’t always mean what we say. There are some times when I get shy and say something just to be polite. Sometimes, I say the opposite of what I want to say when I’m mad.

You’ll find that there are many reasons why we don’t straight up say what we want to. At most, we give hints about what we want. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll nudge you in the right direction.

Confusing, I know. But that’s how women work sometimes.

It can be hard for men to take the hint. So to help clear things up, here are some of the things that we say vs. what we actually mean:

1. I’m not looking for a relationship right now.

She’s actually interested in a relationship, just not with you.

Don’t try to change her mind about it — she’s already made up her mind about you.

2. We should hang out sometime.

She’s waiting for you to ask her out.

Women don’t make themselves open to just anyone. You’ll have to be attentive when she says this to you. You blink, you miss it.

3. You’re actually really cute.

She didn’t realize how attractive you were

Women can be very boxed in when it comes to their type/preference. It can take a while before they notice a guy’s attractive traits or his charming points.

When they do, the realization hits them like a slap on the face.

4. You’re so sweet!

She’s just saying you’re thoughtful.

Men tend to read too much into this, thinking it’s a sign that she’s into them. 99% of the time, it isn’t. She’s just being polite and thankful for whatever favor you did.

5. I’ll think about it.

She won’t. But she’ll pretend to.

6. Sorry, I haven’t been in touch.

She’s been on her phone. She just didn’t want to talk to you. She doesn’t want to completely lose you either. Hence, the text.

7. I didn’t see your text.

She did. She just ignored it and felt bad afterward.

8. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.

By a “few minutes”, they mean 30 minutes to an hour. Ladies can take a while to get ready, especially if it’s for something important.

She’s only saying this so you don’t pressure her. So be a gentleman and just wait, unless you have a reservation, that is.

9. I’m not hungry.

She is. She’ll eat up half of what you ordered too. So order something you think she’ll like.

Pro-tip: Don’t ask her where she wants to eat. Instead, ask her “Guess what we’re eating today” and go with whatever she chooses.

10. We can hang out when I’m not busy.

She’s delaying it until you give up on her. In other words, it’s not happening.

11. Are you up?

She needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.

12. Would you still like me if I was a worm?

This is a girl’s way of asking for reassurance and validation.

I say girl because no grown woman would ask this unless they’re mentally in their teen years.

13. No.

When a girl straight up says no, she means it. It’s 2022. It’s time to let go of the “No means yes” trope.

If you’re having a difficult time, ask her what she really means

You’re not a mind reader. You can’t expect to know every single thing about the girl you’re interested in.

So if you haven’t figured her out yet, just ask her. Playing tic tac toe won’t get you anywhere, so it’s best to just be direct with her and listen to what she truly has to say.

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Florence Williamson