When You Have An Amazing Personality, Finding Love is Hard

5 min readMay 13, 2022

We all know someone who we scratch our heads about and wonder “Why are they still single?”

There’s always going to be that one person you know who has incredible character that hasn’t found love yet. They’re beautiful, they’re kind, and they’re incredibly polite to everyone.

It’s hard for good people to find partners equally as great, mainly because they attract so many kinds of people.

Let’s say you are this person. You have all the qualities that make you an ideal partner. But even so, it’s difficult for you to find someone who fits your standards.

Sure, there are a few people who have shown interest in you, but they’ve been proven to have some traits that don’t sit well with you. Even if you try to work out your differences, you’ll only end up changing each other.

You don’t want to change a huge part of them to suit your needs — so you opt not to date them instead.

Turning down all these people might sound like a decision you’ll regret in the future. But if you were to give them a chance, you’ll end up regretting it too. It’s best that you go with the less tedious option.

You know what you want in a person — which makes it easier for you to narrow down your list of potential partners.

Having a Specific Set of Standards

People who are headstrong tend to be picky with their partner for a good reason — they don’t want to lose their sense of self. Even if they’re under the scrutiny of judgmental people, they aren’t afraid to show their true colors.

It’s natural for people to adjust to their partner. If you are to spend a good amount of time together, you have to be understanding of each other’s boundaries. This makes being together a bit more bearable.

There are times when you have to put up a front so as not to scare your dating prospects. While it does help with the relationship’s progress, this can possibly backfire on you sooner or later.

You want to be able to date someone without having to compromise your identity. At least, about 75% of it.

Because whether you like it or not, change will happen. It’s given when you’re dating someone. It’s just a matter of finding someone who is amenable and understandable.

Dating in this day and age is like a kinder joy egg — you just never know what you’re going to get. You may try your best to assess a person’s character, but sooner or later enough their true colors will come out.

Having a Strong Moral Ground

One other reason why great people find it hard to find love is because of their integrity.

You’re firm in your beliefs. It would be hell to date someone who is completely against them.

Core values and beliefs are important criteria when it comes to dating. You wouldn’t want to end up like those couples on the brink of divorce because of their conflicting beliefs. You might as well not date them in the first place, right?

Because you have a strong moral ground, you also choose your company wisely. But while it’s great to be able to filter out fake people from your life, you’re also closing yourself from opportunities.

The greater your reach, the more potential partners you can find. Then again, you aren’t exactly sure if these people would make quality partners. You’ll have to see for yourself if your values align with theirs.

You Aren’t Easy Bought

Most people are easily persuaded by peer pressure. To please them, you often have to suck it up and just go with the flow.

But when you’re a secure person, you don’t feel the need to impress these people at all. You are confident and secure enough to stand your ground.

Most people who are desperate in love don’t like that. They want someone who can easily bend to their whims, someone they don’t have to put much effort into winning over.

You are not easily impressed by material things such as money or clothes. Though they do add plus points, what ultimately attracts you to someone is their character.

Superficial people often look at a shallow aspect of a person. But you want something more than that, and they don’t like that you don’t care.

Unluckily for them, you aren’t a people pleaser. You aren’t someone who is willing to change for the sake of others. That right goes solely to yourself.

This leads us to the last point why it’s hard for you to find love:

You Put Yourself First

There’s nothing wrong with prioritizing yourself. After all, what good is living if it isn’t for yourself?

Though this might make it hard for you to find love, it’s not impossible. Surely enough, there’s bound to be someone attracted to your traits.

As a matter of fact, all these traits stated above are what makes you an ideal partner.

The compromise? There simply aren’t enough people you can see eye to eye with.

Your happiness matters. If you aren’t happy with the person you’re dating, you put an end to it, as painful as it may be.

There’s nothing you can do if you just aren’t interested in them. You can’t force yourself to like them, nor can you pretend that there is chemistry between you two.

It’s better to come clean and just break up. You just aren’t for each other, and that’s that.

Knowing what you want in a partner ironically isn’t helping you find your love. But at the very least, you’re not in a loveless relationship that is a breath away from a messy break up.

The decisions that you make in your dating phase matter as the years go by. Hence, it’s essentially that you choose wisely, lest your choices will bite you back in the future.

So don’t give up on love. Just be yourself, and you’ll attract the right person.