Relationships won’t work long term if neither partners trust each other. What’s there to talk about or to disclose if neither of you are willing to open up to each other?
Sadly, some people still choose to stay in a relationship that’s devoid of trust. Why? Because of love.
It’s absurd to think that someone would deliberately keep an untrustworthy relationship. But when you yourself are in that exact situation, you’d honestly find it difficult to get out of it too.
To protect yourself, you choose not to trust your partner. You pretend as if you are unfazed by what’s going on around you and go about your day as you normally do.
In reality, you’re hurting. All that love and trust you’ve built up for years, it’s as if it never happened. Because you’re no longer treating each other the same way you used to.
The worst part is, you still have feelings for them. You’d think, with all of the drama you both find yourselves in, you’d finally change how you see them. But no, at the end of it all, you still love them.
You’ve shared too many memories, experiences, and happiness to break that apart. There are things that keep you bound to each other. You are too entangled in one another to break apart.
But it’s the attachment to those memories that chain you to them.
If you want what’s best for yourself, you let them go. You can’t let yourself get carried away by your emotional attachment to them. You’ll be sabotaging your own future if you do so.
The best thing to do is to cut them off. It may hurt, and it may be too complicated to do so, but it’s worth it. Because nothing is more relieving than the exhilarating feeling of being free.
But before you do that, you need a fallback. Secure your finances, find a new place to live in. Do what you must to secure your future.
Because after the hurt and pain, reality kicks in. You’ll need to pay your bills and do your groceries. Though it’s inevitable to feel depressed after a break up, you still need to look after yourself.
You don’t have anyone to look after you but yourself. Sure, you can lean on family and friends to help you get back up. But they have their own lives to live too, and you can’t always rely on them for support.
Your recovery depends on you. You’ll need to learn how to deal with your feelings, especially if you still have lingering feelings for your partner.
It’s not easy to unlove someone. It can take years before you get over them. Once in a while, you get the urge to break down too.
But with baby steps, you’ll be well on your way to healing.
It’s not going to be easy to trust people again, especially with what you have been through. But if you remain stuck in the past, there’s no way for you to move forward in the future.
So let that person go. Be free from all the mess that you both have made.