As much as it’s romantic, the thought of going on a first date can be daunting. Whether you’re a first-timer or someone who’s back on the scene after a breakup or divorce, first-date jitters are, unfortunately, here to stay. We’ve been there before, and the feeling isn’t great!
Today’s first-date standards revolve around one principle: don’t beat around the bush. Why? Thanks to the ever-growing popularity of online dating, people are more aware of what they want out of their matches. With that, daters (rightfully) won’t put up with people who commit unignorable deal-breakers.
Since we’re on the subject of deal-breakers, here are some you should look out for while you’re on your first date:
Rule number one: don’t be rude. Sounds simple, yes? Unfortunately, there are people who, for whatever reason, just can’t bother to be nice.
There’s a difference between being honest and downright rude. If your match is the type who gets their point across without sugarcoating anything, that’s a welcome approach. However, if they give you backhanded compliments during your conversations, peg that as a red flag. You didn’t come to be insulted, remember?
Another thing to watch out for in the rudeness department: observe how your date treats other people in your immediate surroundings. If they aren’t being polite to waiters and other staff members at your date’s setting, that person isn’t worth a second look.
Rudeness is a huge indicator of a person’s character. There’s no room for that in a relationship.
The constant mention of exes
Breakups aren’t fun. No matter how amicably you and your ex end things, splitting up will always suck.
As much as they hurt, breakups shouldn’t hover over your head for a long period. You’re allowed to feel bad for yourself, but you do have to pick up the pieces. Your previous relationship is a part of your past for a reason, so don’t let that stop you from finding love.
One telltale sign of not getting over an ex is when one constantly brings them up in your conversations. Sure, rehashing old relationships can be cathartic. The thing is, though, it tells your date that you’re not ready for them and whatever comes next. If your match does this, you may want to wave the white flag.
Too much attention on cell phones
We get that first-date jitters are normal. However, don’t take that out on your poor phone. If you want to get past the awkward tension, stare at your date instead of your device.
Scrolling through your phone on dates is a bad idea. It shows disinterest in not only the event itself, but the person as well. Don’t succumb to FOMO (or the fear of missing out, for the unfamiliar) and focus on your date instead. I promise you — the internet won’t run away.
Everyone deserves a fair shot on first dates. However, don’t overlook obvious deal-breakers when they’re staring at you in the face. Trust me when I say that you’ll thank yourself later for not letting some dates get past the first one.