Contrary to popular belief, unrealistic beauty standards aren’t exclusive to women.
Men can also get the short end of the stick when it comes to what people today consider to be conventionally attractive, and for those who identify as “regular-looking guys”, dating can be an uphill battle.
But do the ladies really want the closest to the “tall, dark, and handsome” ideal that they can get? Or is this mindset another social construct that’s been blown out of proportion?
What makes a man average looking?
Like most modern beauty standards, the practice of categorizing someone’s looks as either normal or extraordinary is highly subjective.
It’s difficult to label any group of men as regular-looking guys when trying to quantify what makes a physical trait regular is nearly impossible in the first place. Does it talk about facial ratio? Muscle definition? Is a man considered “average” if he has a lot of look-alikes? Do recessive genes make someone more desirable to single women?
The fact that the most common of these beauty standards are based on what’s seen in popular Western media makes things even more complicated. Are there different kinds of regular-looking guys, depending on the country and culture?
Or is a regular-looking guy in the eyes of Hollywood someone who can be very appealing for women anywhere else in the world?
But what are the women really looking for?
Ultimately, the question itself is misleading.
You can’t ask women if they’re willing to date regular-looking guys not just because it’s hard to describe exactly what a regular-looking guy is, but also since women will inevitably have different answers.
Yes, some of them want a Tom Cruise, but there are also others who find Tom Cruise pretty average looking himself.
Some women will want a chiseled jaw with brown eyes, or a round face with an electric blue gaze, and each of those features can be the norm in one place and a rarity in another.
Some women won’t even care about looks, instead preferring a man with a charming personality.
And some women don’t want to date regular-looking guys because they don’t want to date anyone at all. This just depends on what stage of life they’re in.
Being insecure about one’s looks is something every person in the world can relate to. When you start noticing other people and finding yourself wanting them to notice you back, it gets even more humbling.
For men who don’t often find faces or bodies like theirs on TV or in the arms of women they like, it’s easy to believe that they may just be one of the regular-looking guys — destined for a regular life with an equally regular-looking partner who may or may not have settled with them for lack of any better options.
But this frame of mind and outlook on dating is exactly that: all in the mind, at least when it comes to what really counts the most.
Sure, appearance matters to a lot of people, and everyone usually ends up having certain preferences for how a potential lover should look, but there’s a fine line between expectations and reality. In the end, dating is more than just having a partner who’s easy on the eyes.
So the next time you’re tempted to wonder if regular-looking guys still have game when it comes to women, remind yourself that there are different kinds of “regular” and there are different kinds of women.
And there’s always going to be someone for everyone.